Dear Aiden

Dear Aiden,

Sweet boy today you have been in Heaven for 15 months. I miss you just as much today as I did the day I found out you would not be coming home with us. I wonder what you are doing today....I wish I could know. One day though my sweet boy, one day.

Last year on February 1st I began writing this blog as a way to work through the overwhelming pain and sadness I was experiencing after losing you. I can't believe I have been writing here for a year. I can't believe you have been gone that long. I am so grateful for this blog. It gave me a chance to write down my feelings about you and how much I miss you. I know that you know the words I write on this blog. I am so thankful that I have this special place to share you and your life and how much I love and miss you.

This blog also gave me a chance to meet some amazing moms who have babies living in Heaven too. I know that you are good friends with some of those sweet babies. I kinda think you had a hand in sending my BLM friends to me (many through this blog) because you knew I needed people to love and support me. And boy did you pick some great ones! Thank you so much ♥

So much is going on right now baby boy. Both good and bad. Happy and scary. And I know you know all of that. I hope you stay close to all of us as we go through all the things life has placed in our path. I know you were there when your little cousin was born yesterday afternoon. I'm sure you whispered something sweet that only he could hear. I know you are with Mason always.....for that I am so grateful. Your brother will always have you watching over him which means so much. I love that despite being so far away you are always so.very.close. I love you Aiden.

Today is your Granny's birthday. She went outside on the patio this morning and looked up at the sky and her first words were, "Today is Aiden's anniversary." The anniversary of the day we met you. And the day we said goodbye. It's unbelievable to think that was 15 months ago. I love that you were the first thought in her mind on her birthday. I hope you give her a sweet reminder today that you are close to her. I know it would make her birthday extra special.

I had the chance to talk about you this week. And I cried. Of course I did- you know mom is a crier. But I love that I can talk about you. My tears are because you are so loved and missed. Although it hurts to talk about you not being here it means so much to talk about your sweet precious life. You were here. And I love you. I'm so happy that I got to share that with someone new this week....someone who agreed that you were and are a totally special and amazing part of our family. It's aways crazy how a stranger can get that sometimes.

Please remember I love you baby boy......forever and always. I miss you like crazy and I can't wait for the day I get to see you again ♥

Love,
Mama