So instead I thought I would share my last post from my Illuminate class. I can't say enough great things about this class and our instructor Beryl. Such a great group of ladies I was able to spend several weeks with- I feel so honored to know them and their children. And the class was a great opportunity to work on my photography skills and get out some of the jumbled thoughts that fill my mind. If you haven't heard of Illuminate you should definitely check it out!
This was posted on August 8, 2011. The photo collage at the end is one I put together myself with some pics from around the house (love that!).....
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This week's assignment was to imagine myself a year from today. That's kind of a tough one. One thing I've learned in the last 9 months is that I could never come close to dreaming up what my life might be like one day, week, month, or year from now. But I can share what I plan to do with myself over that time.
In a day life can change so much. I can't tell you for sure how I'll feel from day-to-day. What I can tell you is that I plan to live each day like it's all I have. I know that life is fleeting......it can be taken away at any time. I know that one day I will get to see my little Aiden again. Until that day I have to keep living my life the way my soon would want me to. One foot in front of the other......one day at a time.
One week from now I know that all the good I do to build myself up today can be gone in an instant. I know that I can freak myself out or work myself into such an anxious frenzy that all the hard work I've put in to calm myself down over the week will disappear in 2.5 seconds. But during the next week I'll work to pick myself up again. I'll keep going, keep living, keep trying. Because that's what my son would want me to do.
One month from now I'll be 10 months without my son. That is an incredibly painful thought. Months mean a lot to me now. Each month on the 2nd I am even further away from my son. Further away from the day I got to meet him......and the day I said goodbye until the next life. I count down the months until he's been gone a year. It's coming way too soon for me. Next month will be tough. It will be so close to Aiden's birthday. I pray that God and my son will continue to be with me and give me strength to get through each month. So far they have done a good job because I'm still making it.
One year from now I don't know where this life will take me. I don't know what my emotional state will be, I don't know what our family will look like, I don't know how anything will play out. But I do know what I plan to do from now until then.
Hope.
I will continue to trust and hope in God. I will have hope through everything we go through. I will continue to have hope in the shadow of darkness.
Here is one of my favorite bible verses:
This is my prayer for myself and for all the other baby loss moms who are near and dear to my heart........
Here is one of my favorite bible verses:
"But those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint."
~Isaiah 40:31
This is my prayer for myself and for all the other baby loss moms who are near and dear to my heart........
I'd love to hear from you! 
