Hello my love.....I am missing you so very much today! Daddy and I decided to spend most of last night and today posting pictures of other angels names spelled out with your Blocks of Love. Although I am saddened by just how many names there are to write (because I know there are that many sad mommies and daddies out there) it makes me happy to be able to do something for their families in your name. So I have about 4 more pictures to post but then everyone on the Wait List will have their pictures!!! Yay!! Thank you for being my inspiration every day!
Today is kind of a rough one for me. Last Easter you were snug and warm inside me just waiting on us to figure out you were there. And we did- about this time on Easter Sunday evening. I was so shocked and your Daddy was too......you surprised us little man! I can't believe you sat that quiet and still for 7 weeks without us knowing :) I have know from that moment that you would have a calm and peaceful personality......and I loved that about you.
Oh Aiden......I miss you so much. There was so much I wanted to be doing with my almost 6 month old son right now. I dreamed of pictures, and clothes, and snuggling. I long for hugs, and baths, and meal time. I miss you being my partner in crime, my reminder, my constant companion.
This Easter is so different from last Easter. But one thing is the same. I feel hope, peace, and love :) Love for you and God and your Daddy. Peace in knowing that you are sitting in the lap of Jesus and you are safe and sound. Hope in the promise that I will see you again one day.
I know that there is so much that God has in store for your Daddy and I. He has used your perfect little life to push me on to the important things I need to do before I see you again. And for that my baby I am thankful.
And although I miss you like crazy every.single.day......I know you are happy, I know you are safe, I know you know that you are loved. What more could I ask for than knowing my little man is just fine.
I made you an Easter basket last night- yay! It's actually a little red bucket....I love it! I decorated the outside with your name and Transformers stickers. Both Daddy and I love Transformers- we actually watched the cartoon when we were little kids! Your bucket is full of all kinds of goodies :) A talking Percy train from Thomas the Train, Sponge Bob Square Pants Bubbles (your dad picked that one!), 3 cute Easter eggs with your name on them, a cute red pin wheel, your very first Easter card, and a little red and blue garden rake because I know you would have been in the garden with your Granny all the time!
She's so good at gardening and she and your Daddy are the reason your little garden looks so good! Mommy's not the greatest at plants but I have been doing and EXCELLENT job of keeping your garden up by following strict instructions from Granny. And it really is a beautiful garden. Did you see the angel I put next to your special flowers? It reminds me of you taking a little rest in the garden :)
Any way back to your Easter basket/bucket! I think it turned out really well and Daddy liked it too. Here are some pictures:
Mommy wrote your name next to Bumble Bee and Optimus Prime :)
Your red pinwheel- love this!!
Your Easter eggs, Sponge Bob bubbles, Percy Train, and red rake
Your First Easter Card- the ears move!!!
Your little Cami is doing well. I took a picture of her this afternoon:
Yep that's a red ball in her mouth and yes she is trying to climb on Mommy's legs!!! She's so crazy! I know you would have lots of fun with her!
So my love......I have to finish up the name pictures for all the angel mommies and daddies and then get ready for bed. You enjoy the last little bit of Easter and tell everyone in Heaven I said hi! I know you and all the other angel babies had a great day today. Daddy and I miss you and love you more than anything. You come visit us in our dreams soon!
I love you my little miracle angel baby......forever and ever you will be my Aiden William.....
Ok so I am WAAAAAAY overdue for a post! Things have been so hectic and it feels like I've been running in 5 million directions! Is there any way we can add some extra hours to the day???? Pretty please!!!!!
So this is a catch up post so I can get back on track with all my mamas. Please bear with me because this one is going to be a little long :) I still have to read all your Happy List posts from this past Saturday and I will be sure to comment on them all like I usually do- I promise!!!
First I want to tell you about Seattle. It was a really really cool city! We have decided we have to go back again when I'm not there for work. I love my profession and I got some great pharmacy time in, connected with old and new friends, spent some time with the people from my school including the Dean, and learned a lot of new things about pharmacy. It was great! In my down time Nygel and I got to know Seattle. I loved walking around the city and exploring, Pike's Market, all the gorgeous flowers, and of course delicious yummy food! Here are a few more pics from the trip:
Yummy veggies at the market!
Goose Eggs??? Just had to take a pic!
Ginger Ale and Root Beer- yum!
The first Starbucks ever!
Yummy chocolate goodies :)
Nice cool beverages!
This hammer was just awesome!
OMG I can't tell you how much I love Crab legs!!!
My dragonfly pin from H & M! Love this!
Pear bread pudding!!!! Fabulous!
I love love love these purple flowers!!!
Had to get a pic of my TOMS in Seattle :)
Me with a big grin!
Us at Pike's Market
See I told you- lots of fun!
After we got back from Seattle it was Aiden's 5 month Angelversary. This is part of the reason I'm so behind on everything. It was rough for me dealing with this and when grief hits you all know there is no stopping it. This month it really knocked me off my feet. I felt like sadness was hitting me over and over again like a ton of bricks. It was horrible. Nygel and I decided to send Aiden some balloons that Saturday. I wanted to do this with my mom before she went home that morning but we couldn't get the balloons Friday night which made me pretty sad. Then I got a text from my sister Saturday afternoon that said "Always Remembered" with several pictures- here's one of them:
This made me soooooo very happy! My mom, sister, and niece sent balloons up to Aiden. Love them!
So Nygel and I got our 5 balloons- one for each of his precious 5 months in Heaven. I wrote on each of them special notes from me and his daddy. And then we went out to let them go. The wind was blowing like crazy and at first I didn't want to let them go......but we did. And here's what it looked like:
Nygel asked me "So where do you think the balloons go?" to which I replied "They go to Heaven of course!" He was like....ok Tash. Some of you may remember that when we were in the hospital with Aiden there was a very special moment where Nygel was holding him and singing a Bob Marley song to him- Three Little Birds. So that is officially their song. After we let the balloons go and Nygel asked me where they went we looked up into the sky for a long time watching the 5 little balloons make their way to our son with the special messages of love we wanted him to have.
Three little birds flew in a line together over our house! I ran to Nygel and said "Babe did you see the birds!?!? Aiden heard you- he got the balloons!!!! I told you they went to Heaven!!!!" Wow......thanks baby boy for letting mom and dad know you are always with us and you love us just as much as we love you. I love you Aiden!
Next up is the Haven of Hope retreat this past weekend. It was great! Great food, lots of fabulous new mommies that get how I feel on a daily basis, beautiful scenery, and lots of time to be open with my feelings. We were blessed with so much that weekend and I am thankful for the women that put the retreat together. We had lots of time to talk about our little angels and were given some amazing gifts made with love. This lovely blanket was made by Sharon at Heck of a Blanket in honor of her son Roy. We were all in tears by the time she finished her story and passed out the handmade blanket she made for each of us and our children. It was amazing!
Here are some pics from the rest of the weekend:
Welcome Basket
Dragonfly Story Cards
An alligator in the water!! Yes there were lots of these!
Beautiful Scenery!
My Val!
New friends....just amazing women!
Fran and Mary working on their bracelets
Val's lovely Hailey Bracelet
All my jewelry (This one is for my Tiffany-lol!!)
Lovely Rose!
They even had Swiss Chard!!
We had to get a little play in the makeup time in- love TaNia's makeup kit!!!
I also finally got to meet the lovely Franchesca in person and she was just as fabulous as I expected her to be! And of course she helped me with my Aiden bracelet! Thanks Fran!!!!!!
Aiden also visited me in Cleveland, TX- gotta love that son of mine. The whole weekend dragonflies fluttered around me everywhere we walked. It was amazing! Like he was saying "Hey mommy- I love you!" I love you too baby boy!
The other great thing about the weekend is that I met a really amazing mom who has agreed to help me with my Aiden's Hope project because she's done something similar in her town. Thank you God for putting the people in my life that I need the most right now. Thank you for helping me make this thing a reality. I can't wait to share Aiden's Hope with you all!
Speaking of Aiden's Hope I also have to give an update on all my Aiden projects :) This makes me smile so much.....I love doing work in my son's name! I swear some days it is the only thing that keeps me going. And I know he's up with me on all my late nights and early mornings watching as I work on projects to help other families who are missing their special little angels.
So far I have gotten through about half the current Blocks of Love requests. I am uploading them and posting to the website as quickly as possible- the first set should be available by tomorrow!!!! I do apologize for the delay- this emotional roller coaster called grief really takes some of your days away when you least need it. Instead of doing what you planned, you do your best to just stay above water. I also plan to have the order form up for personalized block orders in a few days. I've had several requests for custom blocks so I need to go ahead and get the form up.
We also have a logo for Aiden's Hope!!!! Yay! It is so fabulous and I can't wait to share it with you! Working on the webpage now and I hope to have that up soon. I can't tell you how near and dear this project is to my heart. I know that it is what God wants me to do with my life right now. It's what drives me to get up and go each day.....knowing that my baby boy is watching all the good work we're doing.
Nygel and I are also in the process of opening an online store!!! Woohoo!!! Lots of handmade goodies to come so please keep checking back! Can't wait to share these awesome crafts with you!
Also if you know anyone interested in our Face2Face groups here in Houston.....both the Southwest and Northwest Houston groups will be meeting up on April 30th for a Mother's Day Brunch at 11 am. We will be doing a potluck picnic and some Mother's Day crafts! Yay!!! *Jumping up and down with excitement over doing Mother's Day crafts* Again- yay!!!! So if you know anyone close to Houston that would like to join our group please ask them to e-mail me for information on our Mother's Day Brunch. I hope to see a few of you there!
Finally the REALLY good stuff!!!!!! I owe you guys a giveaway from the last Happy List Saturdays and there were 28 entries including the comments on liking our Blocks of Love Facebook and Blog pages. If you know me then you know I could never give away just one thing! SOOOOO since I'm making the prizes myself I decided to do 3!!! Woo Hoo!!!! Makes me feel good to give stuff away to mamas who deserve it! I have to apologize for my Random Generators looking so crazy- I could not get them to copy and past properly!!!! Anyway......here we go........
First Prize- Handmade Personalized Blocks of Love
True Random Number Generator9Powered by RANDOM.ORG
Our Little King!!!!!
Yay Jen (Ryan's mommy)!!! Please contact me by e-mail (aidensmom112@gmail.com) so I can create your precious Ryan's blocks with the colors/themes that remind you of him :)
Yay Raquel (Jeremiah's mommy)!!! Please contact me by e-mail (aidensmom112@gmail.com) so I can create your book. I use one of mine as an address book to keep up with the names of all the fabulous mamas I've met on this grief journey and I just made one to use as my new journal :)
True Random Number Generator10Powered by RANDOM.ORG
Everything Ebach!!!!
Yay Molly (Hayes' mommy)!!! Please contact me by e-mail (aidensmom112@gmail.com) so I can create your little Hayes' blocks with the colors/themes that remind you of him :)
Whew!!!! So I think that's it for now....I'm all caught up!!! I have got to make sure not to get this behind again because this post is ridiculously LONG!!!! Now I just have to visit all your blogs and see what you've been up to. I miss you all and I pray for your peace and strength every day. Your little angels are always on my mind and in my heart.......
Time for this week's Happy List Saturdays- can't believe we've made it to the end of another week! If you've never participated in the blog hop check out this post or this one to see what it's all about. This is your chance to share what makes you happy each week. The plan is to help us remember the good and happy things in our life despite the difficult cross we've been given to bear.
♥♥♥ I think I'm going with the hearts again..........love them!!! ♥♥♥
♥ Took my mom to get a mani/pedi!!! She felt soooo special I could tell :) Here she is showing off her fingers and toes!
♥ Registered for the Haven of Hope retreat in April and I'm soooo excited! Although I know I'll probably cry the whole weekend I know I need to continue to heal and get everything out. AND I get to have my good friend Valerie (Hailey's mom) as my roomie! Yay!
♥ Traveling!!! I love to travel!!!! Right now I'm visiting somewhere I've never been before :) Pics to come soon!
♥ Seafood :) Love, love, love seafood! I had the most delicious crab cake and fish yesterday!
♥ Blocks of Love- my first project for Aiden is under way! Please check out our blog and Facebook page when you have a moment. I'd love to have you as a follower on both!
♥ Flowers!!! In my garden and everywhere!! Here's some pics from the garden we're working on for Aiden
And this one is so special to me....it's Aiden's first flower in the garden and it's blooming again!!! Yay! You can see the original in my blog header!
AND I just got a knock on my hotel room door and look what it was!!!
The pictures aren't that great (I'm working with my iPhone here-lol!) but can you see the pine cones and pine needles in the bouquet??!!! How awesome is that!! And they smell sooooo fabulous- nice and flowery (not sure if that's a word but I like it!)These were sent by a sweet lady I'm working with who knows how much I love fresh flowers and wanted to send me a little smile- again I am always amazed and humbled by the kindness that others carry in their hearts. That and my Aiden are what push me to do all that I do. And yes that's Cami in my background on the laptop :)
♥ Lemon Pound Cake!!! Yum!!
♥ Making it through another day. Sometimes I'm so hard on myself for what I can't do and what I'm not happy with....but I've been through a lot in the last 5 months...and I'm still here....I'm making it. I think that counts for something :)
♥ Surprises....I love them!
♥ Talking on the phone- I don't do this as much since we lost Aiden but more and more lately I've been talking to people I love on the phone again. I forgot how much I like it :)
♥ Reading- I haven't had the chance to read a lot lately but I got a Nook for Christmas which I love so I dusted it off for the plane ride. I almost got through this book on the plane (I slept the rest of the time- imagine that- sleep!)
I love to read and this is an excellent book. If you haven't read it yet check it out- I think it will bring comfort to anyone that has lost someone they love.
♥ Hugs...hugs are just so awesome. They make you feel so loved!
♥ Catching up with people you haven't seen in awhile
♥ Bringing value to my profession. Many times over the last 5 months I have just wanted to give up. How can I go on after this? How is this my life? How can I ever care about anything else? But when I connect with other pharmacists and leaders in our profession I remember why I do what I do.
I love patients.
It's as simple as that. When I talk to a patient on the phone that says our clinic has helped them more than anything else I remember that I do this because I live and breathe caring for others. In the middle of all my sorrow I forgot that I'm good at this. Sometimes I think I need to remind myself that I am still good at things and still bring value to this world even though I don't always feel that way- it goes back to the whole being too hard on myself thing.
♥ OMG these flowers smell so good!!!
♥ Cami after weeks and weeks of much deliberation and indecisiveness FINALLY got in the water at the Dog Park!!! Woohoo!!!!
And then she went to sleep- worn out with all that contemplation!!!
♥ Nygel....I love this man. Here he is drilling hole in the planter for my Hibiscus trees!!!
And then he and Cam hung out on the couch and watched basketball
Love the OU t-shirt!!!!
♥ Aiden's Hope- this project brings me so much joy. I can't wait to share more with you guys!
♥ Planning a special Mother's Day Brunch for my Face2Face gals! Yay for potlucks!!!!
♥ Love- I love love! It makes me so happy to see love given and shared!
♥ Got this lovely tribute to Aiden in my e-mail tonight from Mary at Micah's Gift who does this in honor of her little angel Micah. Thank you so much Mary!
So that's my list for this week. I can't wait to see what has made you all happy over the last 7 days! Don't forget to add your blog to the Linky below!!! Have a fabulous and happy weekend everyone!
I'd love to hear from you! 
