Happy Third Birthday ♥

Oh my sweet Aiden  ♥

Today marks three years since the day I met you and held you in my arms. It's unimaginable that three years has passed already. I remember that day with you so vividly and I will never forget. The day my sweet boy was born.

I don't know how many ways I can say what's in my heart. I think you know so well. I miss you, I love you. I wish you were here. I would give anything to have another moment with you. To see you playing with your little brothers. To know what you would be like right now in this moment as a three year old little boy. To feel your kisses, and hugs......oh the sweet hugs. To hold your hand. To play with you at the park. To snuggle together on the couch and watch a Christmas movie together. I have missed out on so much. We have missed out on so much. It will never be fair. It will always hurt. I will forever want more than what I have. And know that I can never have what I really want.

Three years......three long years.....so very long.

Today we will celebrate your life. We will celebrate how much you mean to us and how much we love you. Everything about you is love to us. So today will be filled with love my dear. Stay close to us as we will need you just like we always do.

I miss you.

I love you.

Happy Birthday my sweet baby boy ♥

Love Mama

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"I loved the boy with the utmost love of which my soul is capable; and he is taken from me—

yet in the agony of my spirit in surrendering such a treasure 

I feel a thousand times richer than if I had never possessed it.” 

- William Wordsworth

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Haven of Hope Retreat

Every year I post about an amazing retreat held here in Texas for mothers who have experienced the loss of a child. You can see my post about the first retreat here and my post from last year here.

The third annual retreat is coming up and I hope that if you are in the area (or even if you are not) you'll consider attending. The retreat has been such a blessing to my heart and I have so many dear friends who I met there. This year it is being help March 8th-10th in Round Top, Texas. You can register from now until March 1st.  Here is the retreat flyer:

For more information on the retreat you can visit the Haven of Hope website. Susan, Marsha, and Daisy started Haven of Hope with so much love and it shows in everything they do for us mamas. If you are planning on coming to the retreat definitely let me know!

I'll leave you with their words regarding the retreat:

Haven of Hope is a non-profit ministry dedicated to walking alongside other mothers that have also suffered the loss of a child, pointing them to our HOPE in Jesus Christ.

“Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, The Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, Who comforteth us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort them which are in any trouble, by the comfort wherewith we ourselves are comforted of God.”

-II Corinthians 1:3-4

You are not alone.

An Amazing Post

via

I know many of you know who Franchesca is- she's designed so many of our blogs and creates the most beautiful and inspirational word art. She has shared her sweet Jenna Belle and her huge beautiful heart with us all. I am so very fortunate to know her in real life and to call her my friend. Fran recently posted one of the best blog posts for grieving moms that I've ever read. Seriously.

If you haven't seen her post titled "When You Lose A Baby" please click here and take a minute to read it. I could relate to every word, every emotion. I'm sure many of you can as well. It helps me so much to know that even though I'm 15 months out from losing Aiden, my feelings are not crazy and it's ok to continue to grieve. I am not alone. There are women out there that "get" it.

And for family and friends who may be reading this blog because you know someone who lost a baby- I hope it helps you gain a better insight into the tremendous pain that is felt when a child is loss. Maybe you'll understand a little more where your loved one is living in this moment. The pain doesn't go away. We love our children forever. We miss our children forever.