Mother's Day

Mother's Day this year was a different experience for me. I've been a mother for quite some time now even though most people never acknowledged that before Mason was born. But this Mother's Day was different in so many ways. Different emotions, thoughts, and I didn't feel quite the way I expected to this year.

In the weeks leading up to Mother's Day I struggled like I haven't struggled in a while. The sadness and grief were overwhelming.

May 2nd marked Aiden's 18th month in Heaven. And that was rough. I spent a lot of time in the nursery with his pictures and I cried and cried and cried some more. Then I went and found Nygel and cried for even longer. I haven't had a long cry like that in awhile and I guess I needed to get it out.

I miss him so much. So very much.

I honestly wasn't really looking forward to Mother's Day. If I can't have both of my boys with me then really what's the point? I told Nygel I just wanted a quiet day at home.

One morning while Nygel was still sleeping I took Mason into the nursery and began showing him Aiden's pictures. Now Mason has seen pictures of Aiden before but on this morning it was different. I almost fell over when his face lit up in the biggest smile I've ever seen him give! Tears sprung to my eyes and I said "Oh you know Aiden huh? You know your big brother?" And I swear he gave an even bigger smile than before. It was amazing! The look on his face was like, "Duh mama- of course I know him! That's my brother. I love that guy!"

I could not stop crying.

I ran to our room and woke Nygel up to tell him- "Mason knows Aiden!!!"

The best Mother's Day gift ever. My boys know each other. Makes my heart smile every time I think of it ♥ My Mother's Day ended up being exactly what I wanted- quiet, peaceful, full of love, and with me being surrounded by all my boys.

I hope you all had a peaceful Mother's Day. Thinking of you all and your sweet babies.

:::

Dear Aiden,

Thank you so much for being my son, my love, and forever a part of my life. I love you more than words can fully express. I am so grateful that you make yourself a part of your brother's life. I am so happy that you know each other. You are an amazing big brother as I always knew you would be. I miss you, I love, and I think of you always.

Happy 18 months sweet boy!

Love,
Mama