A life sucks moment

That's what I'm having this morning.

I am desperately trying to remind myself that despite the horribleness of losing Aiden I have a lot to be thankful for each day. But sometimes the pain overshadows everything. I don't understand why my son died. I am still so heartbroken and confused. I still miss him so much. It hurts. So bad.

Maybe it's the holidays coming up. Because I can't adequately describe how awful it is to face another holiday season without Aiden. I think this time of year just wears on me. Aiden's birthday, the fall holidays happening again, all the memories that are flooding back.

I'm not even sure of everything I want to say this morning. Not sure how to get everything that's in my head out into words that make sense.

I just miss him.

Happy 2nd Birthday Aiden

Dear Aiden,

Happy second birthday my sweet boy! Although it's so hard not being able to celebrate with you I know there are great celebrations going on for you in Heaven- with so many people who love you so much. I know that you have some amazing angel baby friends that are laughing and playing with you on your special day today too. I wish for you all the love in the universe- today and always ♥

We love you and miss you and would give anything to spend today with you instead of being so far away. Thank you for sending lots of special reminders today.....it always helps to know that you are with us.

I love you always and forever....happy birthday baby boy ♥

Love,
Mama

:::

Perhaps they are not stars, but rather openings in heaven 

where the love of our lost ones shines down to let us know they are with us.