A life sucks moment

That's what I'm having this morning.

I am desperately trying to remind myself that despite the horribleness of losing Aiden I have a lot to be thankful for each day. But sometimes the pain overshadows everything. I don't understand why my son died. I am still so heartbroken and confused. I still miss him so much. It hurts. So bad.

Maybe it's the holidays coming up. Because I can't adequately describe how awful it is to face another holiday season without Aiden. I think this time of year just wears on me. Aiden's birthday, the fall holidays happening again, all the memories that are flooding back.

I'm not even sure of everything I want to say this morning. Not sure how to get everything that's in my head out into words that make sense.

I just miss him.