10 Months Without You

Dear Aiden,

It's been 10 months since you went to Heaven baby boy and I know you know mama was having a hard time yesterday. I miss you so much and I struggle sometimes with really accepting this new life I have without you.

So I thought I wouldn't be able to keep it together today since yesterday was so rough. I woke up early again (about 4:20 am today) and of course you were the first thought in my mind. But this morning there was a lot more peace in my heart. I tried to sneak away from Cami but she heard me moving around my room so off we went to the guest room to watch tv and play on the computer. I found a channel showing Problem Child 2 which mommy LOVED to watch when she was a kid :) So again I was given a break from all the stress I experienced yesterday.

It's been crazy hot here in Texas- every day has been over 100 and any time they tell us it's going to rain it seems like it lasts for only a few minutes. Cami doesn't even like to be outside very long- she does her business and is like "hey let me in!" So this morning when I went to let her out I was surprised by how good it felt outside. Nice and cool and breezy. Just a perfect morning. Cam loved it and did not want to come back in. I had to go out in my pajamas and chase her back in the house!

After a really easy drive into work (the traffic has been horrible every other day this week!!!) I parked and got out of my car to walk to the building.

And I swear it just hit me......this overwhelming peace.

It was so calm and beautiful outside. And my heart didn't feel as heavy. Peaceful.

I know you had a hand in my day today. I know you are with me always. I know that even though you are so much further away than I want you to be, you live on always in my heart.

Thank you for being such an amazing son. Thank you for making me a mom. Thank you for always being there just when I need you. I couldn't have asked for a more perfect child.

I love you, I miss you, I can't wait to see you again one day.

Love Always,
Mama

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