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Mornings are my time.
I go to bed really early most nights and I've pretty much done that since I was a kid :) Old soul.....
Since I go to bed early I wake up early too. And I like it. The mornings are my time to watch whatever I want on tv, catch up on stuff online/e-mails, and a lot of days just pull out a good book to read. I love my mornings to myself. Nygel is asleep, the animals are quiet {for the most part}, no phones ringing, just me and my thoughts. I usually think about 5 million things- how I feel about stuff, conversations I've had in the last few days, things I need to do that week. Sometimes I shut my brain off and just enjoy a Lifetime movie.
It's my me time.
When I was pregnant with Aiden I was excited for so many things :) Feeding him, sticking my nose in his little baby fat rolls, kissing his soft feet, brushing his hair (because I just knew it would look like mine when I was a baby), seeing him with his daddy......so many things. One of the things I was most looking forward to was the time I knew we would share together in the mornings. The time when we were the only ones who were up and the rest of the house was still quiet.
I was completely ready/thrilled/overjoyed to trade in my me time for my us time.
Nygel is a night person so I knew that in the mornings I would have time to myself with my little man. I pictured us snuggling, me reading to him, tons of sweet kisses, playing with his feet, and probably a lot of me just staring at his amazingness. Lots of mommy and Aiden time ♥
I hate that he's not here to share my mornings. I miss Aiden so much. September is a little more than a week from being over it's even more painfully real that I am that much closer to being a year without my son. That means 365 days of not having any morning time together. A whole year of not being able to share my mornings with my sweet little baby boy. I still can't believe some days that he is really gone.
This morning I'm so wishing I could have some Mommy and Aiden time. Oh how I long to share my mornings with him........
I'd love to hear from you! 
8 comments:
I love my mornings too. It's so quiet and peaceful here....until the dog needs to go out.
Sending you hugs and prayers.
I like to think Aiden IS there with you in the mornings, even though you can't see him. I have to believe that.
Oh LJ you just brought tears to my eyes......I believe that too. I know he's with me.....I just wish I could touch and smell and kiss him.
He is definitely with you in the mornings. I agree with LJ. He is watching over you, his dad, and of course his little brother Baby Jack.
sending you lots of love
I like (love) what LJ said. I also think that when you are holding Aiden's brother, and having your morning time with him, you will be with both your boys. There are so many time I am comforted by Cale and feel his presence through/with/by Finley. I hope so much the same for you.
Also - I was reading your other blog at work, but couldn't comment and now can't seem to get back to the blog- but your belly is looking BEAUTIFUL. So hopeful for you, Nygel, and baby Jack :)
Like you...we all had dreams and they were just shattered. Someone always told me when I pg with my new and SO afraid that something would happen to him also...I neeeded to remember that he was a completely different person, just because my Beck died didn't mean that my new baby was going to die as well. Hard advice to listen to because I was a nervous wreck but I tried to remember that when my mind wandered.
This new baby will in NO way replace your feelings of Aidan BUT they will bring you so much joy. I am so excited for you. You will get to spend those morning with this new baby AND you can even tell them ALL about their older Angel brother they have!
((Hugs))
Like all the others said.....we all plans, things we wanted to do, and now we feel robbed and lost. It is hard to let go of what we wanted but can't have, but also know that God had and has amazing plans for you and this new baby.
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Lovely Little Notes....