Starting Today

So I've been planning to do this blog thing for awhile now and I decided to finally get started. During the last 3 months since losing Aiden I've found that writing helps me more than ever. Almost like I can pour out what's in my heart without worrying about being judged or bothering someone.

The last few days have been rough. I'm trying to get a lot of Aiden's pictures framed and up plus I'm working on a few other projects for him. I also am going to be a group leader for a Face2Face group here in Houston so I've been working on stuff for that and reading a lot of women's stories. Every one of them just breaks my heart and I think all of it just got to me yesterday. So I spent several hours on Sunday sleeping after a lot of crying.

Our little puppy Cam keeps us busy so it's hard to get too sad but I still miss Aiden every day. I think he was with me yesterday though because when I woke up I opened all the windows in the house and pulled up the blinds starting with our bedroom. I just wanted some fresh air in the house. When I got back to my room it was so nice and breezy- peaceful. I climbed back in the bed but I felt so much better. Nygel came in the room and was like "ummm are you back in the bed again??" I started smiling and told him "Aiden's here can't you feel it- it's so peaceful." And he was kinda like "wow I really can feel it." It was nice- my baby boy looking out for me when he knew I was sad :)

Last night was hard too. I'm not sure why but I just couldn't stop crying. Although I was thinking of Aiden I think my cycle starting did not do me any favors with the crying issue. I went to bed really early last night and surprisingly I feel better this morning. My baby boy at work again :)

I'm ready to be "normal" again but I know that this is my new "normal" and I'm slowly getting used to the new me......